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21 Things That Had Never Seen a Pirates Playoff Game

The last time there was a Pittsburgh Pirates playoff game before last night (October 1st, 2013) was October 14th, 1992. That’s a span of almost 21 years. That’s a 20-year-old who is 2 weeks away from legally drinking. A lot’s happened since then. I remember watching Game 7 of the ’92 NLCS between the Braves and Pirates when in the bottom of the ninth inning, with Atlanta down 2–1 and the bases loaded, Francisco Cabrera slapped a single that scored David Justice and Sid Bream who famously slid to beat the throw by Pirates left fielder Barry Bonds.

As a Mets fan, I was crushed. Nothing worse than seeing a bitter rival triumph. Little did I know I’d be in for a decade plus of those Braves celebratory moments. Luckily, they’re more like the Buffalo Bills of ’90s baseball. I can’t even fathom what the next 20+ years were like for a Pirates fan.

Back in 1992, the average cost of new house was $122,500. Average income per year was $30,030.00. Average Monthly Rent was $519.00. Cost of a gallon of gas was $1.05. 1 LB of Bacon cost $1.92. Average cost of a new car was $16,950.00. Bill Clinton wasn’t even in office yet. Disney hadn’t even released Aladdin. I hadn’t really hit puberty.

For the fans who remembered that fateful night in ’92, last night’s game must’ve felt amazing. But, these 21 famous people and inventions have NO IDEA what a Pirates playoff game feels like.

Bryce Harper

AP Photo/Alex Brandon

1. Bryce Harper

The Nationals phenom was born October 16th, 1992.

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2. Miley Cyrus

Everyone’s favorite wrecking ball was born Destiny Hope Cyrus on November 23rd, 1992.

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3. Josh Hutcherson

The pretty boy who plays Peeta in the Hunger Games was born October 12th, 1992. Yes, I realize that’s 2 days before the Bucs lost to the Bravos, but word is this lil’ dude was fast asleep in his crib.

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4. Victoria Justice

The Nickelodeon star was born February 19th, 1993.

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5. Ariana Grande

Another Nickelodeon star who now has her own ‘hit’ album was born June 26, 1993.

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6. Taylor Momsen

This former child star and current emo-gothy musician/model was born July 26, 1993. She played the lil’ blondie in the live-action version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Yeah. That happened.

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7. Clint Eastwood’s daughter, Francesca Fisher-Eastwood

The actress, model, “TV personality”, and socialite was born August 7, 1993.

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8. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son, Patrick Schwarzenegger

The model/actor was born September 18th, 1993.

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9. Anthony Davis

The New Orleans Hornets / Pelicans power forward / center was born March 11th, 1993.

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10. Spinners

They don’t stop according to Birdman.

A spinner is a type of hubcap that spins independently inside of a wheel itself when the vehicle is in motion, and continues to spin once the vehicle has come to a stop. Being an attachment to the car’s wheel, spinners operate by using one or more roller bearings to isolate the spinner from the wheel, allowing it to turn while the wheel is at rest. The invention of the spinner is credited to James Gragg of Tulsa, Oklahoma who filed a patent on October 28, 1992 and was issued U.S. patent #5,290,094 on March 4, 1994.

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11. The World Wide Web

On April 30th, 1993, CERN announced that the World Wide Web would be free to anyone, with no fees due.

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12. Human Clones

The attack began in late October 1993 if this NY Times article is to be believed.

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13. Beanie Babies

The line of popular stuffed animals started with nine characters in 1993. Some guy bought a BOATLOAD of these – I want to say $100,000 worth – and now is stuck with them. They are now worthless.

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14. CMOS image sensor

CMOS image sensors can be found in digital SLR cameras, embedded web-cams, video cameras, automotive safety systems, swallowable pill cameras, toys and video games, and wireless video-security networks. The CMOS image sensor was invented by renowned American physicist and engineer Eric Fossum while working at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California. On January 28, 1994, Fossum filed U.S. patent #5,471,515, which was issued to him on November 28, 1995.

15. DNA Computing / Fingerprinting Technology

DNA computing is a form of computing which uses DNA, biochemistry and molecular biology, instead of the traditional silicon-based computer technologies. DNA computing, or, more generally, molecular computing, is a fast developing interdisciplinary area. Research and development in this area concerns theory, experiments and applications of DNA computing. DNA computing is fundamentally similar to parallel computing in that it takes advantage of the many different molecules of DNA to try many different possibilities at once. This field was initially invented by Leonard Adleman of the University of Southern California in 1994.

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16. Segway

The Segway PT is a two-wheeled, self-balancing, zero-emission, electric vehicle used for “personal transport”. Segways have had success in niche markets such as transportation for police departments, military bases, warehouses, corporate campuses or industrial sites, as well as tourism. The earliest patent resembling the modern Segway PT, U.S. patent #6,357,544, was filed on May 27, 1994 and issued to Dean Kamen on December 30, 1997. However, it wasn’t until 2001 when Kamen finally introduced his invention to the public.

17. The Pentium Processor

For all you IT nerds out there *cough* Tone *cough*…

Following Intel’s previous series of 8086, 80186, 80286, 80386, and 80486 microprocessors, the company’s first P5-based microprocessor was released as the original Intel Pentium on March 22, 1993.

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18. Beavis & Butt-head

The groundbreaking cartoon series debuted on March 8, 1993. Sure, the short “Frog Baseball” aired September 22, 1992 but it was part of Liquid Television – one of my all-time favorite shows on MTV.

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19. The X-Files

The iconic sci-fi series ran for 202 episodes and nine seasons, debuting on September 10th, 1993 and coming to an end in May 2002.

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20. Late Night with Conan O’Brien

Before the Tonight Show debacle, Conan’s first late night show debuted on September 13, 1993 and ran until February 20th, 2009.

21. At least one of these notable bands and groups…

  • Everclear
  • Blink-182
  • Collective Soul
  • P.O.D.
  • Puddle of Mudd
  • The Verve Pipe
  • Weezer
  • Wu-Tang Clan
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